Racing

Quack and Crystal Heart begat Heartaquack. Deputy Minister and Misconduct begat Impeachment. Judge Smells and Faffy G begat Odor in the Court. And Chopper Charlie and Libber and Onions begat Watamichoppedliver.

 

Many horseracing fans base their wagers on such names. That fortunes might be won or lost because of an owner’s sense of humor, or a fan’s hunch about a name like Ogle, sired by Oh Say out of Low Cut, or Don’t Take Any, sired by Plugged Nickle out of Wooden, might seem odd. But for many owners and fans, equine names matter.

 

Some owners try to create clever names that capture horse personalities. Other owners combine the monikers of mares and sires, sometimes comically, so a horse’s name reflects pedigree.

 

Some owners even try to slip offensive names past the eyes of regulators at the Jockey Club, which registers horse names. Take Caesar Kimmel, former executive vice president of Warner Communications, who has gotten away with names like Peony’s Envy and Morethan Fourhours, a jab at the endurance claims of drugs like Viagra.

 

“I get a little kick out of naming the horses and having a little fun with the Jockey Club,” Kimmel said. “But I try to keep it on a sane level.”

 

Other owners turn a horse’s name into homage to a loved one. Brian Sigler said he once named a horse Brown Eyed Belle, a tip of the hat to his sister, who had played Belle in “Beauty and the Beast” on Broadway. Sigler said he’s also named horses based on their personalities -- he once named a stout and solid horse Tough Enough.

 

Some owners are more arbitrary with names. Karen Brady, who works in the horse identification office at Aqueduct racetrack in Queens, said she named the first horse she owned, a grey colt, AllsICansStandz, because she liked Popeye when she was a kid.

 

According to Brady and her colleagues at Aqueduct, many owners use their professions to come up with horse names. For instance, a doctor names horses after body parts, like Meniscus.

 

In 2002 a horse was named Brettitus because the owner’s daughter had a boyfriend named Brett, and the daughter thus had a case of Brettitus, according to Janet Reid of Aqueduct’s horse identification office.

 

For all the punning and joking that goes into the naming of many thoroughbreds, horse handles remain influential, despite the seeming disconnect between a horse’s name and ability.

 

“I don’t bet very much, but when I do, yes, the horse’s name means a lot,” said Diana, a Brooklyn woman betting in early February at Aqueduct who asked that her last name not be printed. “I don’t understand the whole thing. I just pick a name.”

 

Some veteran handicappers say that basing a bet on a name is foolish, and that a smart bet is one based on a horse’s past performance, pedigree and condition. “What does a name mean?” asked Mike Lynch, a Queens resident who has gambled at Aqueduct for more than 40 years. “It’s the horse, what kind of a horse he is. Names don’t mean nothing.”

 

Some casual fans like Jim, Diana’s husband, think betting on names or numerical pole position is just as smart as wagering based on the perceived condition of a horse. “People don’t know,” Jim said. “You can’t talk to that horse and say, ‘How are you feeling?’ It’s a game of chance.”

 

Betting on names might seem superstitious to some, but even Kimmel said that doing so isn’t any more foolish than betting based on other factors. “It’s as good a way as any,” Kimmel said. “You might beat a race, but you’re not gonna beat the races.”

 

About 30,000 names are registered each year with the Jockey Club, a 113-year-old organization with offices in New York and Kentucky. The club has about 430,000 names in active use.

 

There are, of course, rules for names. A horse’s name can’t exceed 18 characters, including spaces. Numbers must be spelled out. Wagering terms like trifecta aren’t allowed. A horse can’t steal the name of a famous person, living or dead, without that person’s written permission.

 

About 7,500 names – mostly belonging to dead or retired equine champions like Secretariat – are permanently protected and can never be used again. Otherwise, names can be reused once a horse, living or dead, hasn’t raced or bred in five years. At the end of each year, the Jockey Club purges about 30,000 names of inactive horses from its database, said John Cooney, communications supervisor for the Jockey Club.

 

Horse names can’t be commercial advertisements. They also can’t be offensive or inflammatory, though some dicey exceptions, such as Kimmel’s names, have slipped past the Jockey Club. Once a horse races, it can’t be renamed, and there’s no punishment for slipping a risqué name through. Kimmel said that he’s never been fined in his 47 years as a thoroughbred owner.

 

When a name application is submitted, the proposed moniker is run through phonetic software to make sure it doesn’t duplicate or sound too similar to an active or protected name.

 

Next, a list of all the day’s proposed names is distributed to a handful of Jockey Club employees, who check to make sure each name complies with the club’s rules. Those employees are told to watch out for names that are vulgar or in poor taste, Cooney said.

 

There are special guidelines in place for Kimmel, who said that there are four stars next to his name in the Jockey Club registry, along with a stipulation that his proposed names be scrutinized by at least four people.

 

“I have little or no chance of getting any risqué names anymore,” Kimmel said. “But I’ve had a lot of fun naming horses.”

 

Once names get OK’d by club employees, they’re submitted to the club’s registrar for final approval. Typically, owners who apply online for a name hear back within 24 hours, Cooney said.

 

Even with safeguards in place, some smirk-worthy names do make it past the Jockey Club.

 

Take Shiny City Shoes, another Kimmel creation (though he credits his grandson for the idea). It may not look like the cleverest name, but try saying it fast, and out loud. It still makes Jockey Club employee Lee Weil laugh.

 

“We were always thinking, ‘The announcer’s gonna slip one of these days,’” she said. “When you say it fast, it’s like, ‘Oops.’”